OKCupid

I had tried a short-term membership on a paid site, and then spent a year looking on Plenty of Fish, and had come to think that the standard assumption-- that all the women get plenty of attention from men, while the men get very little incoming mail-- was going to hold true everywhere. In the year-plus on PoFish I got emails from maybe 10 women total, and most of them way over-weight (not a turn on for me). Of those on my search pages within a half-hour (in a dense metropolitan area), I only found a few of interest from their self-composed intro statements, only went past a coffee date with one.

So imagine my surprise when I got onto OK Cupid: In the first week I had mail from 4 or 5 interesting women, and now, after 6 months, from over 50! Yes, some are from far away (England, Portugal-- what are they thinking?), many from a bit over my limit of a half-hour-- and a few (but only a few) are outside my weight-eligibility range. Many have been interesting in a multi-email exchange, and even after the first coffee date. Of the few I've emailed to first,(few, that is, since I'm already swamped with incoming mail from so many), I've gotten replies back from most-- there's certainly no feeling that the site has been 'salted' with 'fake' listings. The open-ended space for self-composed profiles (and pictures) gives members a chance to describe their major characteristics (like religion, politics, music tastes, hobbies) so as to eliminate random fish-hooks. The questionnaire area, with options to answer a few or hundreds, gives the browser a good idea of compatibility (listed by percentage when you view the person initially), and enables their computer to make a pretty good guess when it sends out suggestions ("the quiver"-- presumably of cupid's arrows). I'd love to fine-tune their system a little, but it's been overwhelmingly a good way to look for a new relationship. If I only had more time to meet more- esp those a little over a half-hour away.